Saturday, November 5, 2011

The Best Days of My Life

I had a hard time going to sleep last night. All of these thoughts kept swirling in my head. I woke John up a few times to ask what/when the best day of his life was. When he returned the question I replied that I have many best days. I started to think about them all and decided that one didn't top the other, they are all some of the best days of my life. I don't have a single best day of my life growing up. I had good days, bad days. Some better or worse than others. But none that stand out as best day ever.

Then I met John. I had never been so happy in my life. I still am that happy. The very first best day of my life was the day we got married. I was so happy, nervous, excited, and scared.  Yet, it was the easiest thing in the world. Nothing had ever felt so right in my life. Two years later and I still know it was the best decision I have ever made.

Look how happy I was. If you were to ask me today about being married to my best friend in the whole world, you would get this same smile.
 The day I got married was the best day of my life for a long time. Nothing topped that. We led our simple life, Quantico came and went, and we moved to California. Life changing, but nothing too drastic.

Then I peed on a stick and my life changed forever. I will never forget that moment and how I felt while watching the indicator turn into a + sign. My heart was beating really hard and I immediately started to cry. The feeling of knowing I had a baby inside me was surreal but I was instantly in love. Calling John and my family was amazing and it suddenly became the best day of my life.
 On December 28, 2010 I was a day shy of 8 weeks pregnant. As I lay back on the table in the doctors office watching our first ultrasound, I am shocked to see this little pea. Of course I had already started to love my baby, but then I heard his heartbeat for the first time. I choked up and had tears rolling down my face and I stared at my first child and heard what became the most amazing sound to a mothers ears. I saw and heard my baby for the first time that day and it was easily the best day of my life.

John and I could not care less of the gender of our child. We wanted a healthy baby. Every time we had a doctor's appointment I held my breath until I heard his heartbeat. It was all that mattered. I was already bonding with my baby, but I really wanted to know the sex.  I wanted to lay in bed, rub my belly, and think about him or her. It was hard for me to do that not knowing the baby's gender.

John and I went to the ultrasound place. I had been telling everyone I thought it was a girl. I'm not sure why but I think I had a few dreams and the baby was a girl. Anyway, I'm lying on the table and he puts the monitor on my belly. I immediately see what I think is a penis and say "It's a boy!". He said no, it was the umbilical cord. Oops. So I'm waiting  and waiting. My heart is beating strongly, I can feel the baby moving, and I start shaking because I'm so nervous. It was so final. Then I heard the words I will never forget. "There's his penis!". Best. Words. Ever. We were going to have a son! My heart filled with so much love for my baby boy. It was by far the best day of my life!

At our 20 week appointment we found out Jude had a kidney issue. Our doctor said it would probably resolve itself but they scheduled another ultrasound for 30 weeks just to make sure. I fretted those 10 weeks but I knew we weren't going to be given anything we couldn't handle. I was already fiercely overprotective of him and it made me a bit crazy knowing something may not be right and there wasn't anything I could do about it. I just prayed. Alot.

At our 30 week appointment, not only was he spectacular, but the ultrasound lady was able to show me pictures of him. He was pretty much developed, she said. He would be growing in weight until 40 weeks. And then I saw this picture. My heart grew a million times larger once I saw my baby boy's face. It was (and still is) the most beautiful face I have ever seen in my life. I cried because I had pictured him a million times and seeing this amazing face that looked just like his daddy totally became the best day of my life.

I thought I knew love when I got married and all through pregnancy. I didn't know nothin'. I labored for 35 hours total, about 11 of them medicated (thank god). Little did I know I would be meeting the man I had been waiting for my whole life. The man who would truly complete me. I have never loved another person more in my life than I did the moment my baby left my body. Holding him for the first time was life changing. It was absolutely perfect, just as he was. No one could have prepared me for the sheer amount of joy and love I would feel. There are no words to describe it. Easily the best day of my life.

Everyone knows I have two different families, whom I love dearly. :) I was a child who went from dads house to moms house. To dads side of the family to moms side of the family. I always longed for my own family, one I didn't have to leave every other weekend or holidays. A family that I could be with 365 days of the year. When I married John, he became my family. He was the constant in my life. Then Jude came. These are the 2 men who have finished my circle. Right after Jude was born I realized I had a family of my own. I had what I had dreamed of for so long. My family was complete. Best. Day. Ever.

 Jude is now 12.5 weeks old. I'm a stay-at-home-mom. (Best job ever.) I spend my days with my little man singing, dancing, going to mommy and me classes, meeting up with friends and other babies. We nap together, eat lunch together, play together. I get overwhelmed, emotional, and frustrated on occasion. And I wouldn't trade any of it. I love every wonderful minute of spending my days with him. Every day is becoming the best day with Jude. I'm watching him grow and learn. I'm here for his first smile and his first laugh. I'm here for his first conversation and all of his other firsts. I'm with him in baby gymboree class while he's learning and developing. In the picture below I'm holding a frisbee like toy with beads in it. He LOVES it!

I take pride in my family. I love waking up to Jude and John laughing and talking. My heart fills with so much love as I hear John singing to Jude. I teased him today about knowing he was a daddy because his shirt was full of spit-up. Watching to two most important men in my life together is amazing. It makes me feel very fulfilled in my life.

I love being a mom. I cherish it. I appreciate it. I'm growing as a person beside my baby, who is also growing. I'm already more patient and I have more love to give than ever before.

I don't have any one best day of my life. There are many and I know there will be plenty more as Jude and our family grows. I feel like the luckiest person alive while I sit here typing on the computer as I watch my son and my husband play together. They are the stability in my life. There is nothing more precious than building a foundation for my son with my husband.
I'm going to go now. My son is in a playful mood and there isn't anywhere else I'd rather be than with my family. :)

1 comment:

Laurie said...

You deserve all the happiness in the world and I am so glad you have found it. I love you!